“It does look a lot like the HAL 9000, don’t you think?” said one wary information technologist. “And we all know what happened there, don’t we?”
“And who is to say that if we start using this thing it won’t enslave us and place us in the Matrix or something and start using our bodies to generate electricity for that ever-growing malignant and imperialist network of surveillance, repression and world domination, huh? No, not Washington. I meant Google this time,” said another concerned citizen scientist.
But German reaction to the new browser within the German scientific community has not been negative all across the board. “I mean, it is free, after all,” said a third security expert. “So like how dangerous can that be?”
“Chrome ist nur ein erster Schritt.“
Kommentare auf Deutsch? Klar.
Anyway, vividly remembering those terrible years of hyperinflation
I guess, way back when during the Weimar Republic about, oh, fifty,
sixty or seventy years before their birth(s), when they used to have to
pay upwards of 80 quadrillion bazillion Reichmarks for a loaf of
freakin’ bread, Germans have now once again put inflation on the
top of their all-time-top-ten-wish-list-of-angst (I could mention here
that Germany has the lowest Lebensmittel (food, groceries) costs
in Europe if not the world, in fact I just did, but what would that matter?).
This is at least what 75% of those asked said during a recent survey.
But it didn’t stop there of course. After the inflation angst came the
economic downturn angst, natural catastrophe angst (remember that
last big German tsunami, I mean German earthquake, I mean German
asteroid impact here?), landing in a retirement home angst, sickness
angst, “politicians asking too much of us” angst and then unemployment
angst. But strangely (no, complexly), terrorism, that abstract danger that
can’t happen here, doesn’t show up on the angst radar screen anywhere.
Like I said, this angst stuff is pretty complex over here. But calm down
already and try and look at it this way Germany, the only thing to fear is
angst itself. No, wait a minute. Let me rephrase that. Oh never mind.
Lieber Angst als Schiss haben.
Kommentare auf Deutsch? Klar.
“We are shocked and dismayed,” said the shocked and dismayed left-wing German parliamentarians in a chore although nobody asked them. “Nobody told us that there was actually a friggin’ Krieg going on down there. As you know, the German army is prohibited by law to ever take part in warlike activities of any kind with or in other countries, much less or including our own, and we don’t even want to talk about some awful place like Afghanistan, otherwise we would have never agreed to such an irresponsible and foolhardy military adventure.”
And as if to add insult to injury, a recent shooting “incident” at a German checkpoint in Afghanistan, analog to the “atrocities” committed at American checkpoints here and elsewhere, only on a more regular basis, has left practically no one in Germany particularly concerned much about it at all.
And in typical German fashion, being that there can never be any “losers” in anything, particularly or especially in “a war”, this unpleasant misunderstanding has been discreetly cleared up and rectified, sort of, and more importantly, without the uncaring German public having seen, heard or read a word about it anywhere, much less here.
The concerned parliamentarians were at least pleased to hear this, and that this humanitarian payment made to the victims’ families was “no admission of guilt”, as the guy making the payment guiltily pointed out to them. But this doesn’t change the fact that there is still “a war” going on down there people and they, concerned as they are, are going to make damned sure that they do absolutely nothing about it right now.
Krieg ist voll der Stress, Alter.
Kommentare auf Deutsch? Logisch.
I know what they’re thinking (here is where the calculators get pulled out and the German logical conclusion gets computed), we’ll do absolutely nothing at all. And then this all will go away like usual, all by itself, eventually. And then we’ll go on vacation again.
Annoyed by the annoyance of it all, and wishfully thinking away the ugly little truth on a daily basis now, Germans everywhere are getting impatient and beginning to show signs of reality fatigue and advanced Georgian wake-up call stress disorder as Russia, strongly opposed to the further eastward expansion of the NATO alliance, once again begins its routine expansion toward the west.
This is, however, an unpleasant thought and therefore undenkbar (unthinkable) here. And this being the case, the only other action left open to the Germans is continued further understanding for Russian “anxieties” and the passing of blame for this awful mess on United States policies like open support for Georgia and the anti-Iranian anti-missile shield planned for Poland and the Czech Republic (two countries strangely less concerned about Russian anxieties).
This doesn’t do anything to stop German anxiety, of course (there is no known cure for German anxiety), but doctors here do reccomend that doing what you know does create a certain air of familiarity which is conducive to ameliorating that annoying schizophrenic state.
Sag mir wann ich meinen Kopf wieder aus dem Sand ziehen kann.
Kommentare auf Deutsch? Her damit!
That really does give me pause to worry about Russia’s point man, you know. If he (or is it they?) is so tough and all and such a judo powerhouse and can walk around with his shirt off in public all the time and eat Siberian tigers for lunch and all that, well how is it that such a wussy like our near-ex-President poses such a threat for him?
I’ll tell you why. What this survey really means is that the United States is behind everything that has gone wrong in Georgia. Again, I mean. But you knew that already, I assume. The aggressor is just trying to defend himself, as usual. You know, like Hitler defended himself against Poland? No, sorry, bad example (here’s where you bring up the US invasion of Iraq). You know what I mean, though, I think. Well if you’re a European intellectual type you do.
Maybe Putin really is “punching above his weight”, as they say. Damn. What a jerk. He and his buddies ought to go out there and pick on somebody more their own size. Oh, wait a minute, they just did.
Wir wollen ja die Russen nicht provozieren.
Kommentare auf Deutsch? Klar.
That the bloodthirsty (in Iraq they’re called oil-thirsty) American occupiers surrounding them are well-versed and specially trained to commit such atrocities and even revel in making “mistakes” like these, that’s understood of course. At least in Germany it is. But that peacekeeping Germans could pull something like this off, too?
Well, to be honest, upon rereading the German article I found on this
(and there were surprisingly very few of them), it does appear as if this
incident maybe wasn’t quite as tragic as it first seemed to be (for the
Germans, I mean). The title went out of its way to make clear that the
three civilians were “killed by German weapons.” I guess that means
that German Germans themselves weren’t directly involved
in the matter.
Willkommen in the real world.
Kommentare auf Deutsch? Logisch.
Here’s part of another long-awaited Berlin speech (sort of) by an American presidential candidate that practically none of you have been awaiting for:
“There are those who say that our day as the free world’s leader has passed, that our moment is waning. They point to the anti-Americanism that is sometimes heard in Europe and elsewhere, and take this as a sign that America no longer has the strength or the moral credibility to lead. The criticisms tend to pass or quiet down when global threats and dangers appear. In times of trouble, free nations of the world still look to America for leadership, because they know the strength of America remains the greatest force for good on this earth. My opponent had the chance to express such confidence in America, when he delivered a much anticipated address in Berlin. He was the picture of confidence, in some ways. But confidence in oneself and confidence in one’s country are not the same. And in that speech, Senator Obama left an important point unclear. He suggested that the end of the Cold War proved that there was, quote, ‘no challenge too great for a world that stands as one.’ Now I missed a few years of the Cold War, as the guest of one of our adversaries, but as I recall the world was deeply divided during the Cold War — between the side of freedom and the side of tyranny. The Cold War ended not because the world stood “as one,” but because the great democracies came together, bound together by sustained and decisive American leadership.”
All I can say is that it’s good all of this positive talk about confidence and freedom and leadership tends to get aired late at night when nobody is watching or listening. Otherwise people might auf dumme Gedanken kommen (get the wrong idea) and start “believing” in that stuff again, too.
Wir führen doch alle zusammen (z.B. mit Russland), oder?
Kommentare auf Deutsch? Klar.
“Biden is part of the Washington establishment,” said one thrilled
German expert, pointing out that Biden is part of the Washington
establishment. This is, uh, well, everything that Obama stands for
and therefore a very good thing.
“He (Biden) would never make the same categorizations as Donald
Rumsfeld did, who spoke of an Old and New Europe,” said another
German political scientist, referring to current Vice President Donald
Rumsfeld, who is, as we all know, an evil, blood-sucking alien zombie,
otherwise he would never have dared to say such an awful and hurtful
thing.
And making the most profound political analysis yet, another German
expert has announced: “Should Obama win the election, there will be
a different foreign policy (thanks to Biden) than the one under a
Republican McCain.” Well there we have it. Any further questions
out there?
” Obama präsentiert Biden als Partner für den Wandel.”
Kommentare auf Deutsch? Her damit!
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So brutal wie zu Sowjetzeiten? Egal.
Kommentare auf Deutsch? Selbstverständlich.
