Anyway, vividly remembering those terrible years of hyperinflation
I guess, way back when during the Weimar Republic about, oh, fifty,
sixty or seventy years before their birth(s), when they used to have to
pay upwards of 80 quadrillion bazillion Reichmarks for a loaf of
freakin’ bread, Germans have now once again put inflation on the
top of their all-time-top-ten-wish-list-of-angst (I could mention here
that Germany has the lowest Lebensmittel (food, groceries) costs
in Europe if not the world, in fact I just did, but what would that matter?).
This is at least what 75% of those asked said during a recent survey.
But it didn’t stop there of course. After the inflation angst came the
economic downturn angst, natural catastrophe angst (remember that
last big German tsunami, I mean German earthquake, I mean German
asteroid impact here?), landing in a retirement home angst, sickness
angst, “politicians asking too much of us” angst and then unemployment
angst. But strangely (no, complexly), terrorism, that abstract danger that
can’t happen here, doesn’t show up on the angst radar screen anywhere.
Like I said, this angst stuff is pretty complex over here. But calm down
already and try and look at it this way Germany, the only thing to fear is
angst itself. No, wait a minute. Let me rephrase that. Oh never mind.
Lieber Angst als Schiss haben.
Kommentare auf Deutsch? Klar.
Don’t these folks at the Federal Statistics Office in Wiesbaden know the first thing about German behavioral or misbehavioral idiosyncrasies? When on vacation, for instance, Germans are notorious for reserving “their” deckchairs with “their” beach towels at four in the morning so nobody else in the hotel ever gets a chance to snatch one. It only stands to reason then that being the entire German nation will be on vacation tomorrow to support “their” candidate (or at least that’s certainly the impression I get) and this being such a once-in-a-lifetime big deal thing (Germany has never bothered to welcome a non-President as a real President like this before), well, the beach towels are already in place, so-to-speak.
I don’t even want to go there. To look to see, I mean. Come to think of it, I won’t (don’t think I’ll be there tomorrow, either). I don’t even have to go there to look to know that they’re already there because, well, I can hear them breathing, so-to-speak again already.
At least the rest of us can go to bed tonight knowing that they will be behaving themselves all in good, clean fun during tomorrow’s Mini-Me Woodstock festivities because I have it from reliable German sources elsewhere that Obama’s speech is guaranteed to be absolutely, positively “substance-free” (wow, what a surprise). After all, the last thing we want from one million missing, screaming, hootin’ and hollerin’ Germans in the Tiergarten is substance abuse.
„Es ist eine Wahlkampfreise, keine Informationsreise.“
Kommentare auf Deutsch? Klar.
Today’s post is brought to you by Blogger News Network.
Völlig unüblich wie üblich.
Kommentare auf Deutsch? Logisch.
Today’s post is brought to you by Blogger News Network.
Wer will junge, aufstrebende Akademiker überhaupt?
Kommentare auf Deutsch? Logisch.
Germans don’t like to talk about it or anything because it’s a bit taboo and a deep and dark family secret or something (not) and they are such militant pacifists after all and we all know that they would like nothing better than to rid the world of weapons forever, don’t we? But when it comes to exporting weapons, I just got to tell you, they really rock.
At least that’s what a survey conducted by the Stockholm International Peace Research Institute (SIPRI) would have us believe (and we all know how shady those Swedes can be – think “neutrality” during World War II). Anyway, the survey says that the USA, Russia and Germany are the world’s leading weapons exporters, with Germany’s latest weapons export piece of the pie profits coming in at around $3.395 billion. Damn, just think of all the ploughshares you could buy with that.
All I can say is that it’s good to know that all of these German weapons are being used for goodness and niceness and purely defensive purposes (did you know that Wehrmacht meant defensive force?), not like some other countries’ weapons out there, if you know what I’m sayin’. Otherwise a whole lot of people in this country wouldn’t be able to sleep well at night.
Geld stinkt nicht.
Kommentare auf Deutsch? Selbstverständlich.
PS: Thanks for the chin-scratching post, Joe and Kyle.
Or at least that’s what most Germans think, if you want to believe the latest greatest survey out there. A mere 13 percent of Germans asked would be in favour of providing Israel with military support were that country to come under attack, again, for instance.
The young and the restless-type Germans in particular could particularly care less when it comes to what might happen to the Jewish state, too. A whopping 65 percent of those surveyed below the age of 40 do not believe that Germany has a “special responsibility” towards Israel because of its history.
That results like these seem to make Chancellor Merkel’s ritual recitation of this official “special relationship”, this “cornerstone of German policy since the days of Chancellor Konrad Adenauer”, ring hollow at best, like it has with all the Chancellors before here, well, who cares? She’s just attending a birthday party, after all, everybody here is thinking. And if push ever comes to shove we can always apologize for our official change of heart later.
Eine schöne Bescherung, oder?
Kommentare auf Deutsch? Klar.
Anyway, according to the Leipzig Institute for Market Research, only 60 percent of Germans surveyed have confidence in the democratic system as it is practiced today in the Federal Republic of Germany (in the eastern part of Germany it’s less than half at 44 percent). But when it comes to authority, the survey says that 85 percent of Germans trust authority figures, like their police.
Don’t get me wrong, I think trusting the police is a good thing. But how does all of this fit together? On the one hand you’ve got this perpetual gebetsmühlenartig (repeated like a mantra) “Nie wieder Krieg!” and “Nie wieder Faschismus!” and down-with-authority chant going on 24/7, while on the other hand the same people seem perfectly prepared to toss their tried and true democratic system out the window (the only system that has ever really worked here, by the way) and maybe even make themselves comfortable for a while in the next police state experiment while they’re at it. Or what else does this mean?
And these are the same Germans who want a permanent seat in the UN, too? Like I said, none of this fits together. But how do those other old lyrics go again? “You don’t miss your water until your well runs dry.”
Democracy schmockracy!
Kommentare auf Deutsch? Logisch.
“We knew they, I mean we were real slugs and all,” said a spokesman for the ministry. “But we had absolutely no idea we were such world class losers. I mean, talk about your American conditions. Sheesh.”
The study shows that about two thirds of German men and 51 percent of the women carry something called “excess fat” around with them all the time. This is up from 39 percent of the men and 47 percent of the women determined in a study done 20 years ago. The study also indicates that Germans have become much more “idle, desk-bound and lazy” and that German food has also become more “energy-dense”, something most food scientists had thought impossible up until now.
Consumer Protection Minister Horst Seehofer wasted no time in addressing the problem by pulling out and actually chewing on a carrot before live cameras at a news conference yesterday. “We need to educate people better,” he said after spitting out several large chunks in napkin while nobody was looking. “And get Germans to start filling their lunch boxes with healthy and expensive fruits and vegetables instead of all that el cheapo bad food crap so readily available out there now. That’ll be a breeze.”
Essen bis zum Abwinken, aber immer ein paar Möhren zwischendurch.
Kommentare auf Deutsch? Klar, doch.
