Observing German(s)…

But it gets worse. Germany has been so disappointed with their performances in recent years (we have been, too – I mean, we feel your pain), that they are actually going to, gulp, “resort to Americans” to sing and dance for them at the show in Moscow tonight.

I can hardly wait or something.

“Der Countdown läuft!”

Kommentare auf Deutsch? Her damit!

Or maybe he’s just a bit feverish after having contracted Swine Flu because he forgot to apply his oinkment.

„Will er sich damit vielleicht vergewissern, dass er auch wirklich geheiratet hat?“

Kommentare auf Deutsch? Klar.

Not that anybody would really care or anything, but still.

„Ich hoffe sehr, die Zusammenarbeit wird den beiden zum Sieg verhelfen.“

Kommentare auf Deutsch? Her damit!

That’s right, Benny is finally raus. And to put a little icing on the cake, Dieter Bohlen has labelled Annemarie Eilfeld a whore (and Dieter should know). Annemarie Eilfeld, for those two or three of you Germanophiles out there who don’t know it yet, is the show’s evil blond back-stabbing schemer contestant who revels at being the show’s evil blond back-stabbing schemer contestant while playing the innocent lamb at the same time.

Clearly a genius at her trade, Dieter Himself will be compelled to allow Annemarie to make it to the last show at which point she will be defeated by the forces of goodness and niceness (although I haven’t figured out which one that is yet - but it won’t be Benny) and yet still “come out on top”, so-to-speak.

„Niemals zuvor war DSDS so schlecht wie in dieser Staffel.“

Kommentare auf Deutsch? Logisch.

It goes like this: There’s a strange series of murders going on in Berlin, the victims get dragged into the city’s U-Bahn tunnels and poisoned there. The main detective dude, his girlfriend to be the next victim of course, gets hit by a subway train while investigating the crimes and knocked into the past (I’ve heard of getting knocked into next week, but this?). And this is not just any past, of course, it’s the 1984 East German GDR Berlin kind of past. And there, where the same types of mysterious murders are taking place, and working together with the nice East German detective Onkel (man) assigned to him, he solves the case (I assume) and finds a way back to the future to save his girlfriend (I assume again) in the nick of time, so-to-speak.

„Mörder und Langeweile kennen keine Grenzen.”

PS: Thanks for the life on mars link, Joe.

Kommentare auf Deutsch? Klar.

I just can’t figure out how they are going to get Dieter Bohlen involved as a judge here. He hasn’t had any experience in politics. But come to think of it, he hasn’t had any experience singing, either. And that certainly hasn’t stopped him judging on the other show.

“Ich kann Kanzler.”

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And George W. Bush needs to be sent there, too (they just can’t let W. go, you know, I told you so). At least that’s what that one lady here below thinks. Because “I just don’t like him and I think he deserves to eat a few bugs because he needs to know how it is when people don’t have enough to eat.”

There we have it.

Igitt! Ingrid würgt am Känguru-Hoden

Kommentare auf Deutsch? Logisch. 

They’re searching for “treasure.” And the, uh, “key” for the, well, “treasure chest” is in the… In the what? It’s in the soap?

“Bei den einen liegen die Nerven blank, bei den anderen ganze Körperpartien.“

Kommentare auf Deutsch? Klar doch.