When we need it, I mean. Or at least when we expect it. Sometimes the Germans just don’t get it, you know? Normally quite reliable, they’ve definitely dropped the ball on this one. Don’t they know that there’s a crises (or two or three or four) going on? Don’t they know that the sky is falling? Or it least that’s what I’ve been led to believe. Go ask Joe Biden, he’ll tell you in a heartbeat (and a Merry Christmas to you too, pal).
So what do the Germans do these days when they’re supposed to stay home and cower in the corner with fear and loathing? They go out and consume at Christmas time like they are supposed to do, as if everything were normal. You know, like Americans used to do. Well no, maybe not that much, but pretty much, at least by German standards.
What’s going on here? I think this smart guy here might be right on the money somehow. Like he implies, the name of the movie we find ourselves in right now isn’t Apocalypse Now, it’s Apocalypse Normal. We have been bombarded with devastating news reports and horror scenarios for so long and so frequently and so thoroughly that nothing really bothers us (or at least not the Germans) anymore. We Americans, on the other hand, we haven’t been as lucky it seems. Our bombardment is just beginning, I guess.
„Aus, vorbei, alles zu spät. Der Eisschwund im Nordmeer, so meldeten Geowissenschaftler dieser Tage, ist nicht mehr rückgängig zu machen, und wenn kein Wunder geschehe, dann verwandele sich das Eismeer in eine warme Brühe. Erstaunlich nur: Die Katastrophenmeldung vom Wärmeschock im Arktischen Ozean verschwand ebenso schnell aus den Schlagzeilen, wie sie hineingeraten war. Andere Weltnachrichten überlebten deutlich länger. Zum Beispiel die neue Eiszeit zwischen Boris Becker und seiner entflohenen Verlobten. Oder noch ein Dauerbrenner: Die glücklich abgeschmolzenen Pfunde der Sängerin Mariah Carey.“
To be fair though, the Germans have had a lot more practice than we have had when it comes to staying home and cowering in the corner with fear and loathing. They’ve been doing this kind of stuff for decades. That’s why it’s so easy for them to master this situation now, see? Damn, I wish we were as normal as they are. Must be nice to be that, uh, indifferent or something.
„Vom Untergang bedrohte Eisbären haben wir schon so oft gesehen, dass über ihr Ende niemand mehr erschrickt.“
