Friday, July 21, 2006

German army too stretched to go to places where people are actually shooting

In a shocking new development (not), a former German Defense Minister has determined that Germany’s limited military resources are overstretched and are leider (unfortunately) therefore not in the position to deploy to Lebanon.

“One mustn’t ask too much of the German army,” this guy actually said without breaking up in a burst of uproarious laughter. “One cannot be represented all over the world.” After checking his temperature, the journalists present realized that he was in fact serious and then marched off together to a nearby bar to order a few strong drinks.

Germany has a mere 6800 troops (predominantly logistical) stationed abroad in Afghanistan, Kosovo and the Federal Democratic Republic of Congo.

After having come to the conclusion some time back that the world has never been more peaceful and secure than it is today, the German government has kept it’s defense spending frozen for over three years. But, then again, rumor has it that the German government also believes in the Osterhase (Easter Bunny).


Chancellor Merkel has stated that it is “too early” to discuss the possibility of Germany contributing troops to a proposed UN multinational peace force in Lebanon. Of course it is. This favorite old German statesmanship trick (calling something too early when it’s already too late) has come in so handy in the past that she’d be the last one on earth to question its effectiveness. You know, never touch a running system and all that.

Müssen wir hier alles alleine machen?

Kommentare auf Deutsch? Ich bitte darum! 

Posted by clarsonimus at 06:13:08 | Permanent Link | Comments (4) |
Comments
1 - 6800 troops?? Damn son, I had more than that at my family reunion. Merkel would unleash the vaunted german war machine if given the chance. haha never mind, been reading too many history books. (Comment this)

Written by: Huskins at 2006/07/21 - 06:53:27
2 - Sure the Bundeswehr is overstretched, that is why it still needs to enslave all our able-bodied young men for nine months. makes sense now? (Comment this)

Written by: zzz at 2006/07/21 - 09:28:39
3 - So, does this mean that the German military wont be co-locating forces in amongst the hezulls so as to act as human shields against retaliation, like the other UN forces in that area? (Comment this)

Written by: Grimmy at 2006/07/22 - 04:27:58
4 - Enslave our able-bodied young men? Please, 90% of these fine young men "verpissen sich" (lit.: fuck off) to the "Essen auf Rädern" (Food on Wheels a service for seniors and handicapped persons) or other such constitutions/establishments(?).
Besides "Grundwehrdienstleistende" (people in basic military service) must not go to military activity abroad. (Comment this)

Written by: Volker at 2006/09/05 - 14:19:25
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