Fugitive bear turning out to be real jerk
Finnish hunting dogs can’t catch him. He finds high-tech American bear traps absolutely hilarious. Bavarian hunters haven’t slept well in weeks and have now become the butts of numerous disrespectful jokes. A car ploughed into him the other day for cryin’ out loud and he just smirks, flips the driver off and heads back into the woods again.
When not killing sheep and raiding rabbit hutches, Bruno, as they now call him, is making a mockery of the German love of order, not to mention their criminal justice system, the rule of law and the international longing for lasting world peace and goodness and niceness everywhere.
“I mean, like hasn’t this guy had his fifteen minutes of fame yet already?” asked one dumbfounded official from the Bavarian Environment Ministry. “Why doesn’t he go back to Italy where he belongs? Everybody else goes to Italy this time of year. I’ve already missed three World Cup matches traipsing around in the bushes like this. What an asshole.”
And as one can see studying this artist’s depiction of the vicious brute
(reconstructed here using the accounts of the shaken driver who recently crashed into him), this bear actually seems to be enjoying the havoc and mayhem he is wrecking. He is reeking of it, so-to-speak.
When asked about a rumor now making the rounds, a spokesman for Germany’s Worldwide Fund for Nature did not wish to comment on “mere speculation”, but many here actually believe that should Bruno not be captured soon, NATO forces could be called in to “bear the burden” and to finish him off “fur once and fur all."
Ob die da in Bärlin damit einverstanden sein werden?
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