Ahmadinejad thinks the international conspiracy is gaining steam
Iranian President and respected international conspiracy theorist Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is still not sure if he will be visiting Germany to cheer on Iran’s national soccer team during their match against Mexico on June 11. He is convinced that an “active worldwide network of Zionists” is trying to prevent him from doing so. He is also sure that someone has been putting stuff in his drinking water and yogurt lately and worries that those voices coming out of the bathroom sink keep getting louder all the time, too.
“My decision depends on a lot of different things,” said Ahmadinejad in an interview with the Spiegel. “But… what’s in your pencil? Give me your pencil immediately!” he said in a panic, snatching the pencil away from the interviewer’s hand and breaking it in half to look for the Zionist transmitting device he was expecting to find inside but didn’t. “They’re very clever about hiding those things,” he continued. “They put one in my shaving cream tube once. That's why I've stopped shaving since then, you know.”
He then went on to speculate about a possible connection between the said international conspiratorial forces and the Mexican national soccer team. “Look at the goalie there,” he said, pulling out a tattered photo from his jacket pocket. “Look closely. See his right ear? Now compare it to the left one. Now if that guy’s not a Zionist then I’ll start traipsing around in one of those Jewish cap thingies.”
The interview then came to an abrupt end when a group of whitely-clad Iranian “security personnel” that travel with him day and night intervened and led him away for what they called “his afternoon nap”.
Mir geht's gut! Ich brauche die Spritze nicht!
Kommentare auf Deutsch? Logisch.
PS: Hmmm. He may have something here after all.
