No, the bartender didn’t forget you
Talk about survival tips (posts below). For the upcoming World Cup, I mean. If you are 1) a soccer freak 2) planning on flying over to celebrate the World Cup here in Germany week after next and 3) like to drink beer (don’t laugh, there actually are soccer freaks who don’t like to drink beer – in theory, anyway), don’t start wondering if all the native bartenders you will be coming into contact with despise you and make you wait so ewig (eternally) long for your beer like that on purpose. They do. No, not hate you. Make you wait so long. On purpose, I mean. Let me explain.
This is one of the most ancient and most holy of all German drinking rituals, not unlike the Japanese tea drinking ritual in, uh, Japan. Only it’s beer so it’s more important. And its German beer in Germany um Gottes willen (for heaven’s sakes) so show a little respect, okay?
First of all, the glass gets “brushed” with the Bierpinsel. No, it’s not a real brush. Never mind. Let me start again. They want the inside of the beer glass to be a little wet so that the beer doesn’t foam too much. This is a complete waste of time, of course. That the friggin beer is going to foam too much anyway doesn’t matter to these hardened professionals, that’s just what they do (respect, remember?). And foam, in the end, is the reason you have to wait so long. They let the head settle for a bit and then top it up again. There’s this little “foam line” line thingy on the side of the glass and there has to be “real” beer below it before they can serve it, see? So that's why they wait some more and top it up again.
And then they wait some more and top it up again. And then they wait some more and top it up again. Do you see that a pattern is now developing here?
Anyway, ten or fifteen minutes later (I swear I’ve waited 15 minutes before), your beer is finally ready and gets served with a smile. Well, it gets served anyway.
Three key phrases to repeat indefinitely here: 1) Ein Bier, bitte. 2) Dankeschön. 3) Noch ein Bier, bitte.
Fußball ist nicht mein Bier. Bier schon.
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