Illegal alien bear shown who is boss
A brown bear’s brazen attempt to illegally enter Germany has been thwarted by watchful authorities. The bear, the first to be seen in a German forest in over 170 years, had apparently snuck over the Austrian border with forged Slovenian papers.
“I noticed right off that there was something fishy about the signature,” noted an alert local policeman doing a routine ID check at a small roadside crossing. “I called the feds immediately, of course.”
Dozens of heavily armed professional killers were then flown in to locate and blow the brains out of the uninvited, unauthorized guest.
Tensions over immigration policy in Germany have intensified in recent years as an extremely low national birth rate makes immigration necessary for sustained economic growth. According to the prestigious German Institute for Economic Research (DIW), only an annual influx of about 140,000 people or bears can offset Germany's rapid decrease in potential workers and ensure the survival of the national retirement and health care systems.
But bears, especially brown ones, are viewed here as being notorious freeloaders and most Germans believe that they only come here to abuse the system.
Talk about chutzpa”, noted one camouflaged immigration official while taking aim and firing at what later turned out to be a Dachshund, “He figured he would just parade right in here and make himself at home. Just like that. Without going through any of the formalities or anything, I mean. Right, as if. Duck your head!”
The bear nevertheless managed to escape, seemingly vanishing into thin air.
And this too has aroused by many the disturbing premonition that perhaps some new and sinister Russian mafia-like bear-channeling organization could now be active in Germany.
Da tanzt der Bär!
Kommentare auf Deutsch immer gern gesehen.
I guess when you've turned your entire country into some kind of manicured garden- one wild animal in 170 years is a big deal. Maybe if we sign Kyoto we can exterminate our natural wild life and then pretend to be holier than thou- (Comment this)