Merkel visits natives in Siberia
Hungry and irritable after only being offered a little bread and salt upon her arrival, a visibly disappointed Angela Merkel did her best to gracefully cut short her visit to ethnic Germans in the Siberian tundra town of Tomsk and get the hell out of there big time.
“They look kind of German,” one advisor noted. “And they wear those goofy Trachten and stuff, but like I can’t understand a word these people are saying. What the hell kind of German is that? It’s like they’ve got a different word for everything out here.”
Merkel is currently visiting Russia to put a little more umpf into her stormy (not) relationship with Vladimir Putin. And no, her husband isn’t with her this time, either! She has stated clearly that the time for Kumpanei (buddy-buddy friendship) with Putin is finally over this time for sure really and she is going to now speak about their differences openly and provocatively and, well, if you ask me it looks like she’s got him up against the wall and he’s now going to have to finally decide between her or his wife.
And that’s another reason why she went way out of her way to visit these so-called ethnic Germans that used to be real ethnic Germans before Stalin shipped them out to the deep freeze zone of no man’s land a zillion years ago. That kind of stuff bugs Putin, you see, and women just love doing that kind of stuff sometimes just to piss a guy off.
Die Liebe kennt keine Grenzen. Und Zeitzonen auch nicht.
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