First the H5N1 virus, now Berlin’s Love Parade
A raver revival? When is this going to stop, people? Just when you figured “it can’t happen here” anymore, it happens here again some more doch (after all). It’s not enough that the more traditional bird breeds are falling out of the sky right and left here these days, it seems. Now the cuckooks seem to be infected, too.
It’s a different virus with them, though. It’s the Love Parade bug. And their migratory patterns are very unpredictable compared to our other fine feathered friends. There is no known antivirus, either, although the Love Parade has wrecked havoc in this city for years and years and years. You see, it seems that the victims infected are experiencing a new, very advanced form of it – a very very advanced form of it – and have become resistant to normal treatment (they don’t even want to be treated normally anymore I’m told).
Like, hasn’t this modern plague already gone around the globe 37 times or something already? No matter. The new latest-greatest epidemic is expected to arrive here on July 15th.
Thanks a million “McFit”. That’s the name of the company that will be “contributing” just that - a million. It looks like this new sponsor, a fitness club of all things, has actually managed to rejuvenate the aging virus in it’s, uh, laboratories. So much for modern science, I guess. When fitness clubs start calling the shots in virology, I mean.
But at least measures are finally being taken to stop the spread of the virus this time honest no fooling. An informed insider informs me that “a commercialization” of the epidemic by the new sponsor is “out of the question.” Thank goodness. Then this will definitely be the last one, right? You promise?
Der Tiergarten sieht aber komisch aus heute.
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