Language experts allow dangerous new word to escape from lab
A particularly virulent German compound word has escaped from a high-security linguistic compound and is now terrifying the native public, which is only compounding the matter even more.
No sooner had a panel of five experts managed to safely isolate the term “Entlassungsproduktivität” as being the recipient of Germany’s Vocabulary Hall of Shame 2005 (Unwort des Jahres) then was it able to outwit two or three sleeping security personnel and find it’s way back into mainstream media coverage.
A dangerous and highly toxic compound, Entlassungsproduktivität was formed using the nouns Entlassung (notice, as in letting someone go) and Produktivität (productivity) and refers to the increased productivity sometimes measured at companies that have just gone through a big round of lay-offs.
“I’d almost forgotten about the damned thing, too.” said Rainer Unsinn, a highly-respected language expert not directly involved in this particular incident. “And then these bozos have to go out there and fiddle around with it and let it out into the public again. Jeez. What a completely sucky word.”
Although the panel is quite experienced and has been choosing contemptible words like this for over fifteen years now (and always under the strictest of laboratory conditions), they obviously weren’t prepared for such a sensational escape.
When later asked for an explanation, the scientists just shuffled their feet and shrugged their shoulders and mumbled something about “that word” turning out to be more deceptively euphemistic than any one of them could have possibly reckoned with.
Und die Produktivität steigt und steigt.
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