Wednesday, April 16, 2008

German teen geek says we’re all gonna die

Just when you think NASA is finally getting back up on its feet again… Sheesh. Then some Klugscheißer (smart alec) 13-year-old German schoolboy comes along and double-checks their math (always a good idea, I think) and finds out that the Apophis asteroid does not in fact have a 1 in 45,000 chance of whacking our planet in 2029 or when it comes around for a second try in 2036, like we thought it did. No, no. The chance is more like 1 in 450, the little smartass and his smartasteroid calculations say.



Thanks for clearing that up for everybody, Nico.

This really pisses me off, you know. My calculations on the Apophis asteroid had been more like around 1 in 47,000 (how were yours?) so like what the hell does this little dweeb know that I, I mean, you or even we, don’t? The German school system is in a shambles, you know. Just go and ask any German and he or she will tell you so. This isn’t supposed to happen. Just like that deep impact of Apophis somewhere near Las Vegas wasn’t supposed to happen, either. Not until Mr. Schlaumeier (smarty-pants) came along and started recalculating everything, that is.

Well, there is a bright side to all of this, I suppose. Both NASA and Nico have agreed that if Apophis does collide with the Earth, it will create a ball of iron and iridum which will be 320 meters wide and weigh 200 billion tons and that the tsunamis and/or dust clouds it will create will pretty much wipe out pretty much all of the people you may know pretty much, yourself included, which ain’t pretty, but at least their numbers jived on that one. So NASA is back in the ballgame.

“Put your head between your legs and, well, you know the rest.”

Kommentare auf Deutsch? Logisch.

PS: Now the Empire has struck back and says that Nico is like so completely full of it. We may get through this one alive after all, folks.
Posted by clarsonimus at 16:51:14 | Permanent Link | Comments (6) |
Comments
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1 - I'm delighted to tell you that your calculations (as we all expected) were in fact correct. NASA confirmed today that the little brat forgot to carry the decimal to the root of pi squared or some crap. Anyway, if you're physicallt able - I would still consider putting your head between your news and ... well, use your imagination. (Comment this)

Written by: Canucklehead at 2008/04/16 - 18:42:01
2 - So, do the longer odds mean smaller tsunamis? Isn't that the real question?! (Comment this)

Written by: Tom Evans at 2008/04/16 - 19:14:08
3 - Most of us will be dead in 2029, and the way you write, you could be dead sooner! (Comment this)

Written by: EuroYank at 2008/04/17 - 06:06:49
4 - It's still a much better chance than winning the jackpot in the German lottery. (Comment this)

Written by: Indeterminacy at 2008/04/17 - 09:11:31
5 - Yesterday it was reported that there´s a 99% sure chance that California will have the big one in the next 30 years! Ok, beach boys and girls, just take the chance, depending on your age, to move out of there soon. In this calculus-high-math-case of Schlaumeier´s calculations everything is different. Nobody can move anywhere to get away from the impact no matter when it comes. But I bet the Feinstaubplakette will be a lot more expensive.
So, ruhig Blut, nicht aufregen and sleep with care, shit (will/still) happen(s) almost daily. (Comment this)

Written by: Anonymous at 2008/04/17 - 11:13:38
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