Saturday, September 29, 2007

Unpopular American journalist tells Germans what they want to hear (not)

Seymour Hirsch, the “presumably most unpopular disclosure journalist” the White House can possibly imagine, has exclusively disclosed to Germany that 1) George W. Bush believes in God and that 2) he believes he is doing said God’s Will. I mean, who would have thought that?

These shocking revelations come on the heels of other brand new, unexpected and thoroughly shocking disclosers, like Bush actually wanting to “build Democracy in Iraq” and “this President has put it into his head to remodel the Middle East. He really believes in this.”

Still reeling from these Revelations-type revelations, German readers’ jaws dropped even further when subjected to even more shocking news, although this time coming more in the form of tacit Hirsch admissions about how the so-called Surge is actually working even though everybody with any brains knows that it couldn’t and can’t and how he still refuses to let go of his personal Vietnam obsession he has been obsessing with for the past forty years whenever he refers to any conflict larger than a Los Angeles traffic jam, which admittedly can get quite ugly.

German readers are completely at a loss as to what to read next. After all, everyone knows that 1) God does not exist and 2) one could not do His or Her or Its Will even if He or She or It did exist because one does not have any will one's own damned self. Not anymore, anyway. And alarmed at the very thought that something in Iraq might actually be working or that it maybe isn’t another Vietnam after all gives everybody here like totally the hives dude.

What could possibly not work next that might be tried anyway? A genuinely hard stance vis-à-vis Iran maybe? No way. That would be another Vietnam. And God knows we wouldn’t want that.

Ich glaube an nichts was ich nicht nicht beweisen kann.

Kommentare auf Deutsch? Selbstverständlich.

Posted by clarsonimus at 10:29:49 | Permanent Link | Comments (18) |
Comments
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1 - He believes in God? Really? Next thing you know, he'll be saying things like this:

Fondly do we hope, fervently do we pray, that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pass away. Yet, if God wills that it continue until all the wealth piled by the bondsman's two hundred and fifty years of unrequited toil shall be sunk, and until every drop of blood drawn with the lash shall be paid by another drawn with the sword, as was said three thousand years ago, so still it must be said "the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether."


Lincoln's second inaugural address, March 4, 1865

Mitch (Comment this)

Written by: Anonymous at 2007/09/30 - 01:55:34
2 - Very nice, Mitch. My observations are more along the lines that Germans believe that there is no higher authority than Man, and the State is Man's highest achievement. They get really nervous if someone mentions the G word.
Yes, there are still some older people that regularly visit one of the State-approved and subsidised churches, but they have to be viewed as an aberration.

Scout (Comment this)

Written by: Anonymous at 2007/09/30 - 08:28:03
3 - Mitch, yeah, I know. Lincoln was another famous atheist, I mean believer (my favorite President numero uno, by the way). But my point (I think) is how strange it is that people should find the idea shocking. I mean the idea that the President of the United States believes in God and, being that he does, thinks that he is somehow part of some grand design, as all others who believe in God also do. That he is serving something higher, in other words. I don’t know. Whether you believe in God or not, I have a hard time smirking at something like that. (Comment this)

Written by: clarsonimus at 2007/09/30 - 08:47:08
4 - Why didn't you link to the English-language version of that interview on the Spiegel.de site? The headline there is: Bush has accepted Ethnic cleansing. Then again, Germans may already know that too.

I thought the interview was interesting and informative, but then again, I think Hersh is a hero.

Continuing on my earlier theme.... I wonder how Medienkritik will play this? Headline: German magazine that hates America publishes interview with American journalist who loves America. Mmm, perhaps not. (Comment this)

Written by: letters at 2007/09/30 - 12:09:00
5 - Bush kinda does fulfill some of the prophecies of an anti-Christ and Armageddon. (Comment this)

Written by: Indeterminacy at 2007/10/01 - 11:52:17
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