Saturday, March 29, 2008

Hard as Jell-O as usual

This video was promoting ideas which were not nice and unpleasant to hear, especially for those who might kill us otherwise, so it had to be verboten.



Just look at that poster. We don’t want to end up living in the US American Wild West, now do we? Did you know that in that country (in the non-virtual part of it at least) you can purchase and even read a book called Mein Kampf, for instance, and not be threatened with a car bomb because of it? It’s that Wild. You can’t imagine having that kind of Wildness in virtual America or even in Germany can you? Me neither.

Nope, this freedom of speech stuff only leads to hurt feelings and that would be a dog gone shame and that is why over here in Germany (or "out there" in virtual America) there are concerned watchdogs everywhere who make sure that all of the people are pleased all of the time and that we are constantly reminded that their own #!’”*# doesn’t stink there, either.

You can speak all you want to here, just don’t say anything.

Kommentare auf Deutsch? Klar.

Posted by clarsonimus at 17:03:59 | Permanent Link | Comments (4) |

Friday, March 28, 2008

Wilder’s latest film out

No, not Billy Wilder (this guy uses an s without the apostrophe), although the film is a new-fangled version of “Some Like It Hot”, I suppose. Right-wing Dutch politician Geert Wilders wants to cause some anti-Islamic commotion by launching “Fitna” (“strife” in Arabic), his video attack collage expressly directed against the Koran, and he will most surely succeed at doing so. Is this a good thing? Probably not, his aim clearly being to distort the Muslim world as much as Islamic radicals seek to distort ours. But hey, somebody's got to do it, oder (right)?

These silly Europeans. Demonstratively speaking one’s mind is a wonderful thing, but if it never leads to concrete action, well, what’s the point? If you are not willing to confront Islamic radicals down at the ground level where they are armed and dangerous, what good is pretending to confront them at the virtual level where they are unarmed and not?

But having said that… Don’t miss this film (although I just might), because it’s bound to be good clean family entertainment for everyone (not) and maybe, in this case, it’s better to have an unbalanced point of view than not bothering to have one at all.

The time for strife is reif (ripe) again, oder?

Kommentare auf Deutsch? Her damit!

Posted by clarsonimus at 17:25:42 | Permanent Link | Comments (2) |

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Russian art critics active in Berlin again

German police fear that a group of Russian art critics may have possibly abducted a Russian artist living in Berlin who herself was critical to Vladimir Putin and the Russian Orthodox Church which was probably the reason why she was living in a "safe" place like Berlin in the first place but these art critics are clearly of the big-time and international type and will stop at nothing to do their job and express their criticism and intend to show Russian artists like her that you can run if you wish but you cannot hide, at least not when it comes to creating and exhibiting controversial art critical to the powers that be in Russia, these being none other than the Russian art critics themselves, of course, and that if you want to live safely in the future it would probably be better for you to paint pretty Russian landscapes and tundra scenes and stuff like that.

Of course maybe she just got into some Transrapid train somewhere by accident and vanished into the Twilight Zone forever like the Wankel motor did, hard to say for sure though.

Trans Europa Express (aber ohne Transrapid).

Kommentare auf Deutsch? Logisch.

Posted by clarsonimus at 18:06:57 | Permanent Link | Comments (1) |

Monday, March 24, 2008

BND hysterical again

Well, not really. It’s just that whenever American intelligence agencies do this kind of thing, it gets laughed and sneered at and called conspiratorial at best and hysterical at worst, or vice versa. Well, at least it does over here. Germans are generally much more cool, calm and collected than Americans are, you see. So that’s why whenever the German BND issues one of its monthly warnings about imminent al-Qaida attacks to take place in Germany which never take place, this time because al-Qaida has set up a new base in North Africa somewhere (huh?), well, people get hysterical, I mean conspiratorial, I mean listen.



That Germany still has a lot of its North African operatives still operating down there shouldn’t really surprise anybody, but a lot of these guys must be pretty old by now and, like, how reliable can these reports be (think senility and Alzheimer’s)? And that Germany should feel more threatened by an al-Qaida base in North Africa than one in, say, Pakistan is not really clear to me either, but then again I’m not an intelligent, I mean intelligence guy.

Anyway, Germany’s top spook has just announced that "The BND is monitoring with great concern what is growing over there, which has a new quality and is bringing the jihad to our door."

Germany is of course known the world over for its staunch stand against all things unpleasant and un-nice and uncomfortable to hear and many objective observers now believe that international Islamic terrorism might actually be one of them. Not that they would ever actually do anything against it or anything (like, say, shoot at them), but they are “monitoring the situation with great concern” at least.

I just hope that the CIA doesn’t come out with the same report any time soon, then the whole thing will have been nothing but another big scam.

“Panzer rollen in Afrika vor.”

Kommentare auf Deutsch? Klaro.

Posted by clarsonimus at 18:05:09 | Permanent Link | Comments (3) |

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Curveball comes back to Germany

It’s not very often that German disinformation gets blamed for contributing to the grim process that led up to the invasion of Iraq, so I feel it’s very important to get the word out as much as possible whenever the truth sticks up it’s ugly little head as, well, this kind of intelligence screw-up couldn’t have happened to or have been disseminated by a nicer country.



Of course no self-respecting politically correct person anywhere has ever liked being reminded of the fact that intelligence specialists from all over Europe and elsewhere were convinced that Saddam Hussein’s Iraq was preparing weapons of mass destruction before the American-led invasion took place, just like the CIA claimed, but remember one must, or at least should, but you won’t have to of course, so don’t worry.

Nope, ‘the biggest intelligence fiasco’ of a lifetime was not an exclusive American affair, despite everything you may have been told or have chosen to believe to the contrary. And it wasn’t just English, French, Russian or the other usual-suspect-type intelligence agencies’ disinformation either, it seems. German spooks THEMSELVES were also more than eager to believe the claims made by an Iraqi asylum seeker they called ‘Curveball’, for instance, claims that Saddam Hussein was building mobile biological weapons laboratories.

Hey, stuff happens. Even to peace-loving German intelligence types. I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it or anything if I were you. Nor will you, of course.

I spy, you spy, we all spy.

Kommentare auf Deutsch? Logisch.

Posted by clarsonimus at 02:44:47 | Permanent Link | Comments (1) |

Friday, March 21, 2008

Sales of animal parts to China restricted

Upset about the Chinese government’s violent crackdown on protestors in Tibet, the German government has announced that it will suspend the sales of Berlin Zoo animals and Berlin Zoo animal parts to China until further notice.

Used by the Chinese to produce some of their wildly popular and traditional way cool mumbo jumbo medicine, this bold German move comes only a few weeks after relations between the two countries had been patched up sort of kind of. Tensions began after Chancellor Angela Merkel had had the unmitigated gall to receive exiled Tibetan leader the Dalai Lama in her Chancellery last September.

The Chinese are upset because Mr. Lama and the rest of the people of Tibet still want them to leave the country (their country) which they have held under military occupation since who knows when because nobody in the west really cares really but it is important for us to pretend as if we do care from time to time so that’s why the animal parts are staying right here for a while now, you no good communists.

It is unclear at this time if Knut or any part of him has been or will be put up for grabs for the grabby Chinese, but zoo officials in Berlin denied this vehemently as they are paid and expected to do.

Diese Poltik ist ein Teilerfolg.

Kommentare auf Deutsch? Klar.

Posted by clarsonimus at 16:57:30 | Permanent Link | Comments (1) |

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

No headscarves, but the decision on banning German-grown suicide bombers is still out

Now that a German high court has upheld a regional ban on teachers wearing the Muslim headscarf in public schools, many German converts to Islam fear that future court decisions could also infringe upon their right to carry out suicide bombings against Americans and other infidels, as well.

“This ruling is a clear reflection of the culture of intolerance, fear and injustice that is slowly and insidiously creeping into German society and is directed against peace-loving headgear-toting Muslims everywhere,” said one irate Islamic legal expert. “Like what are they going to forbid us to do next, from carrying out our religiously-motivated car bombing rituals in Afghanistan and Iraq? Germany has no jurisdiction there, you know. Jeez. What has this country come to?”

The headscarf decision overturned a ruling by a lower German court which had argued that the teacher had a right to wear the headscarf because Roman Catholic nuns in the same region of Germany wore habits while teaching at public schools.

Although clearly discouraged by the decision, German Muslim lawyers are making preparations for any eventuality. It is believed, for instance, that any talk of banning German Muslim suicide bombers in the future will be promptly met with legal suits arguing that Lutheran and Unitarian suicide bombers blow up Americans and other westerners in just the same way.

We’re just regular old-fashioned God-fearing folks like everybody else.

Kommentare auf Deutsch? Logisch.

Posted by clarsonimus at 17:12:23 | Permanent Link | Comments (2) |

Monday, March 17, 2008

The end of the SPD as we know it?

Understanding politics and government-building in Germany can be pretty complicated at times, even for Germans. So that’s why they introduced this colorful color-coding system of theirs here long ago or at least I think that’s why they did although it doesn’t really help much if you ask me but it goes something like this: The CDU is black, the CSU is blue, the FDP is yellow, the Greens are green, the Left is red and the SPD used to be red. And that’s apparently the problem with the SPD these days because they were once red as I said before the Left took their red. Now the SPD has pretty much been demoted from Volkspartei status or soon will be and is more pink than anything else although black and blue would probably be more accurate a term but these colors have already been taken too like I said so they are in quite a dilemma. So it’s the end of the SPD as we know it, and I feel fine. But I’ll have to continue this conversation with myself some other time because I’m in a rush now and I’ve got to run.

Lieber tot als rot als pink.

Kommentare auf Deutsch? Klar.

Posted by clarsonimus at 05:25:10 | Permanent Link | Comments (1) |

Thursday, March 13, 2008

There’s one in every crowd

It looked pretty good for the SPD in Hessen for a few minutes there. But after Roland Koch of the CDU shot himself in the foot with his foreign delinquent campaign that nobody can seem to remember anymore and lost his party’s majority there, the SPD tries and succeeds at topping that piece of brilliance by breaking a vow to voters of never absolutely positively never ever working together with the Left party to form a government. They did try it, of course, with support from their fearless leader Kurt Beck in Berlin even, and now the SPD’s foot is bleeding rather badly, too. And not just in Hessen, either.



Is there something wrong with the drinking water in Frankfurt these days? No, I don’t mean that the SPD shoots itself in the foot there (they do that all the time, wherever they are), I mean that they suddenly produce politicians with a little backbone who actually stick to what they say. And no, I don’t mean the Hessen SPD leader Andrea Ypsilanti, she’s a classic opportunist like all the others. I mean a “nobody” like the regional SPD lawmaker Dagmar Metzger who put an abrupt stop to her party’s courting of the Left by refusing to give Ypsilanti her vote.

Not unlike the way another woman who brought down the fat and sassy leadership of the CSU in Baveria not too long ago and then rode off into the sunset of political oblivion as her just reward, Frau Metzger decided to go against the rest of her own pack and do the right thing by voting, or in this case not voting, her conscience. In some countries and cultures this type of behaviour is called “civil courage” and it is looked upon with great admiration and respect. And I can’t help but get the impression that despite all the predictable moaning and groaning that goes on at first, Germany is one of those countries, too. Or at least it can be.

Women can sure be hard-headed, can’t they? But why can’t they be like that more often? In politics, I mean.

“Zivilcourage ist der Mut, unerschrocken seine (oops, ihre) eigene Meinung zu vertreten.“

Kommentare auf Deutsch? Logisch.

PS: Due to extracurricular activities, posts will be few and far between for the next week or two, so enjoy them accordingly. No, not the missing posts; the few and far between ones. Never mind.
Posted by clarsonimus at 06:58:39 | Permanent Link | Comments (1) |

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

It can’t happen here anymore because we’re above all that now, honest

It happens here all the time, of course, just like it does everywhere else, every day of the week. Only it happens in small, bit-size and easily indigestible pieces. It’s not a five-day experiment aimed at teaching students about the rise of fascism at some high school somewhere, it’s the hard-wired willingness or rather need the human animal has to obey the higher-up of the day and ostracize whoever he or she can get his or her hands upon.

That’s just what we do, human being types in this so-called social context of ours. And if we don’t have the luxury of living in an ingeniously devised straightjacket system (some call it democracy) which keeps us from getting away with this type of misbehaviour indefinitely or getting too far with it (we're always getting too far with it if you ask me), then all kinds of wild and crazy stuff starts taking place.

That’s probably why the German film Die Welle (The Wave) opening here tomorrow is probably worth seeing and will flop dramatically. Nobody really wants to be reminded of the fact that it not only can happen here, it already has (in a big way, I mean, and more than once, by the way). And even does, on a daily basis, as I said.

After all, we (as in you) Germans have learned our lesson from history and are above all this nonsense now as attested to by the countless good examples we set like the fact that we always happily pass on good advise to others while staying home alone with Kevin in denial to live on forever in splendid and peaceful isolation while new and ever-changing-big-time forms of fascism develop elsewhere around the world right before our very eyes but that’s none of our business because we have already had our turn and fifteen minutes in history fame and are having too much fun doing our piddly and mundane everyday fascism here at home instead.

So it looks like it will be another Hollywood blockbuster again tomorrow (which we will promptly criticize afterwards as being another Hollywood blockbuster, but that’s another story).

Huh? Dieses Experiment findet nicht mal in den USA statt.

Kommentare auf Deutsch? Selbstverständlich.

Posted by clarsonimus at 07:05:09 | Permanent Link | Comments (8) |
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