America threatening Germany again
Germans were shocked to wake up this morning to discover the disquieting results of a new Forsa opinion poll commissioned by Stern magazine. Poorly-chewed Frühstücksei (breakfast egg) dropping from its gaping collective mouth, Germany was dismayed to learn that only forty-eight percent of Germans surveyed believe that the United States is more dangerous than Iran (thirty-one percent believe Iran is more threatening). Up until breakfast time, practically everyone had been certain that this number was actually in the high eighties.
“You bet,” replied Schnucki, her husband, shaking egg rests off his newspaper. “There were hundreds of thousands of us out on the streets back then demonstrating against that Pershing missile Scheiß. And just look at all we accomplished! What’s wrong with theses kids out there these days? If we had ever had any, you can bet that ours would have shown a little more mum. Right Schnaubilein?”
Many Germans believe that the German political establishment is largely responsible for this surprising drop in anti-American sentiment. For years the country's foreign ministers have fed the Germans the fairy tale of what they called a "critical dialogue" between Germany and the United States. It went something like this: If we are nice to the Americans, cuddle up to them a bit and occasionally pretend like we believe in the same things that they do, they will eventually stop condemning their women to death for "unchaste behavior", threatening Israel with annihilation and finally give up their despicable plans to build the atom bomb. But this cuddle up policy has clearly led Germany down a dead-end street.
American officials, for their part, are scrambling to counteract the not-growing non-threat by reconsidering recent peace offering gestures. More Bush speeches, environmentally unsound measures and foreign invasions somewhere anywhere are now said to be in the planning. After all, the next poll will be coming out soon enough.
Ich könnte diese Ayatollahs in Washington noch nie ausstehen.
Kommentare auf Deutsch? Her damit!
“You bet,” replied Schnucki, her husband, shaking egg rests off his newspaper. “There were hundreds of thousands of us out on the streets back then demonstrating against that Pershing missile Scheiß. And just look at all we accomplished! What’s wrong with theses kids out there these days? If we had ever had any, you can bet that ours would have shown a little more mum. Right Schnaubilein?”
Many Germans believe that the German political establishment is largely responsible for this surprising drop in anti-American sentiment. For years the country's foreign ministers have fed the Germans the fairy tale of what they called a "critical dialogue" between Germany and the United States. It went something like this: If we are nice to the Americans, cuddle up to them a bit and occasionally pretend like we believe in the same things that they do, they will eventually stop condemning their women to death for "unchaste behavior", threatening Israel with annihilation and finally give up their despicable plans to build the atom bomb. But this cuddle up policy has clearly led Germany down a dead-end street.
American officials, for their part, are scrambling to counteract the not-growing non-threat by reconsidering recent peace offering gestures. More Bush speeches, environmentally unsound measures and foreign invasions somewhere anywhere are now said to be in the planning. After all, the next poll will be coming out soon enough.
Ich könnte diese Ayatollahs in Washington noch nie ausstehen.
Kommentare auf Deutsch? Her damit!
PS: Thanks for the link, Zyme. But I have to say, I don't care in the least for anything that Peter Scholl-Latour has to say. He, for me, epitomizes this way of thinking. And thanks for the Iran link, Larry.
Clarsonimus really - maybe there is a different understanding between Germans and Americans regarding "world peace".
As most would define it here, world peace means the peace between nations. Breaking peace is done by initiating a war. Breaking world peace is done in a way by initiating wars on different continents. Now one can easily come to the conclusion who is a bigger threat to world peace: How many wars did Iran actually start in the last decades, how many on different continents? And then compare this record to the USA.
So I can´t really understand why Iran should be considered a bigger threat to world peace. The USA have been the most bellicose country in the last decades, so it´s like "d'uh how could you expect anything different from the polls?" (Comment this)
"If we are nice to the AMERICANS, cuddle up to them a bit and occasionally pretend like we believe..."
should be
If we are nice to the IRANIANS, cuddle up to them a bit and occasionally pretend like we believe..."
Cheers Paddy (Comment this)
But why should anyone find the results funny? (Comment this)