Sunday, March 04, 2007

Germans caught hiding their CO2 underground

Clearly paying no heed to German EU industry commissioner Verheugen’s warning about hysterischer Aktionismus (hysterical, unexamined action or activity) in matters concerning climate protection, and caught red-handed helping Germany cheat on the CO2 emission targets set for it at Kyoto, a group of mad (as in angry) and panicked German scientists has been caught pumping excess greenhouse gas into a huge underground reservoir near Berlin.



After their arrests, lawyers representing the scientists claim that their clients had merely been doing a little research to see how feasible it would be pumping massive amounts of CO2 gases deep under the earth in an effort to win time for the world to develop new CO2-free technologies. Environmental activists didn’t buy any of this nonsense for a minute, however, and are demanding the scientists’ immediate execution or deportation to Guantanamo.

Verheugen, too, is said to have scoffed at their pitiful efforts and moaned “We keep getting these strange waves (of hysteria) here in Europe. Two years ago everybody was yelling: Jobs, jobs, jobs! Now all you hear is: Climate, climate, climate!”

Be that as it may, the influential EU commissioner, known for his staunch support for the German automobile industry, believes that Europe is as innocent as a lamb when it comes to CO2 emissions. “Europe causes only a relatively small amount of the worldwide CO2 emissions,” he said. “And those caused by automobiles here make up an extremely small portion of that.”

It is unclear where the mad German scientists got the huge amounts of gas they used during their diabolical experiments, but a spokesman for Verheugen has assured reporters that the commissioner was nowhere near Berlin when the pumping took place.

Fortschritt durch Technik.

Kommentare auf Deutsch? Logisch.

Posted by clarsonimus at 08:49:19 | Permanent Link | Comments (5) |
Comments
1 - How did we get from neglect and abuse of the environment to an hysterical environmental political movement so quickly? What's wrong with a good lifestyle of "using paper instead of plastic at the grocery store cashier/ buying a gallon of drinking water instead of 6-ounce plastic bottles of spring water/ internet financial transactions instead of paper"?

David
Texas (Comment this)

Written by: David Weller at 2007/03/04 - 21:16:28
2 - I wish people would forget about global warming. Leave the environment alone. There is not enough known about. One party says this, another that. It has become a political football. (Comment this)

Written by: Lila Roberts at 2007/03/04 - 22:26:07
3 - David, nothing at all! I'm all for it. I'm for selling your car, too. And I don't think flying off on two or three vacations a year is a good thing. But nobody is willing to do that, preferring to get hysterical instead. (Comment this)

Written by: clarsonimus at 2007/03/05 - 12:41:29 in reply to: 1
4 - Are you aware that Germans have been putting CO2 into mineral water and selling it at supermarkets, drink stores and gas stations!?!?! For years! You can even buy machines to use at home that allow you to pump CO2 into tap water! Drogerie's are secretly selling the mini-CO2 tanks. They don't display them out in the open, but you have to ask specifically at the counter. This is the biggest unreported story yet!

Let's joke about global warming, while we still can. (Comment this)

Written by: indeterminacy at 2007/03/05 - 12:44:08
5 - indeterminacy, creepy, isn't it? No one ever THINKS about this stuff. Reminds of that communist plot our beloved General Jack Ripper once foiled back then in... whenever. Wherever. (Comment this)

Written by: clarsonimus at 2007/03/05 - 12:50:35 in reply to: 4
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