Wednesday, January 31, 2007

256 pages of action and intrigue that go far beyond that which has already been made public

In a surprise move that certainly won’t be surprising anyone, professional innocent evil American conspiracy victim Murat Kurnaz has written a book about his unspeakable Guantanamo ordeal (that’s why it had to be written). In it he will systematically dispel the absurd assumptions made by security authorities who thought it strange how his innocent vacation trip from Bremen to a Pakistani Koran school closely associated with Islamic terrorists in October 2001 could not be considered suspicious.



The 256 page work entitled “Five Years Without Shaving” (or something like that) will truly and honestly depict how untrue and dishonest allegations of his involvement in the Islamic terror scene honestly and truly are. He will also spend a few pages describing the indescribable conditions he and others like him were forced to endure while being held prisoner in “the Matrix”, the Guantanamo Camp of Death, from which he nevertheless somehow miraculously managed to escape from unharmed, though slightly overweight.

Currently very busy loudly bemoaning his innocence in public all day long, he has admitted that a German co-author has had to help him with “the actual writing part” of his book. 

All proceeds of the work will be going to those innocent bearded victims like himself who have suffered similarly under the top secret repressive American plan for word, I mean world domination and godlessness -starting with himself, of course.

Innocent until proven innocent, I always say.

Kommentare auf Deutsch? Her damit!

Posted by clarsonimus at 07:20:21 | Permanent Link | Comments (4) |
Comments
1 - I think a translation error occured. Mr. Kurnaz didn't claim to be in The Matrix but he said, in violation of the Geneva Convention, that he was forced to watch The Matrix. Especially horrifying was being forced, like Little Alex in A Clockwork Orange, to watch only the third installment of the three. . (Comment this)

Written by: Pat Patterson at 2007/01/31 - 13:18:25
2 - Pat, they... wouldn't... really... make him do THAT, would they?? Or maybe they did make him watch all three - at one sitting! It boggles the mind. Sort of. (Comment this)

Written by: Clarsonimus at 2007/01/31 - 15:22:14 in reply to: 1
3 - Have you seen the grooming habits of Paul Wolfowitz http://news.yahoo.com/photo/070129/481/ist80101292058 ? I always knew that there is something seriously wrong with the guy. Boy, we need more women in politics. (Comment this)

Written by: Cosima at 2007/02/01 - 03:55:02
4 - Cosima, give the guy a break already. He is obviously just making a fashion statement of some kind. It just hasn't been, uh, translated yet. <;-) (Comment this)

Written by: Anonymous at 2007/02/01 - 08:39:46 in reply to: 3
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